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Joke of the Day

"What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space? ""You're two shellfish."""

"Did you hear about the Jew and the Scotsman who spent the night together? Apparently that's all they spent."

"I don't bring pooper scoopers when I walk my dog I would, but my dog doesn't give a shit"

"Times are tough, my daughter just repossessed a paper airplane she made me, over a quarter I owed her from yesterday"

"What do you call a Penis inside a Potato? A dictator"

"Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?... Because they always blow their trunks off!"

"Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde? A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys."

"How did Samwell Tarly survive against white walkers? survival of the fattest"

"I'm not afraid that the world is going to end.... I'm afraid that it isn't going to change...."

"Reddit is like a box of chocolates It's the same shit over and over"