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Joke of the Day

"I don't bring pooper scoopers when I walk my dog I would, but my dog doesn't give a shit"

"I was asked by a feminist how I viewed lesbian relationships I guess in HD was not the answer she was expecting."

"An Asian man goes to the eye doctor and the doctor says ""Sir, I'm sorry to say but you have a Cataract""... The Asian man turns to the doctor and says ""No, I have uh Rincoln Continentar"""

"What's a 6.9? Another great thing screwed up by a period."

"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."

"The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't"

"Do arcades ever clean the joysticks? 'Cause I've sucked on a few and they tasted awful."

"The average person loses their virginity at 17. Congratulations you are above average."

"Guy comes home and says to his wife, ""Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!"" She jumps for joy and asks, ""Where are we going?!?"" He says, ""I'm not going anywhere. You're outta here!"""

"Marijuana is not a gateway drug... I have never been smoking weed and thought, ""I know what this needs! Meth!..."""