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Joke of the Day

"I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stuff ducks should do"

"What do you call an Ent prince who betrays his dad? Treason"

"My dentist told me I have to stop masturbating. I said, ""Why?"" He said, ""Because I'm trying to work on your teeth!"""

"Don't let... ...an extra chromosome get you down."

"How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching? He barked g-r-r-r-illa!"

"Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? BECAUSE There was no chemistry. LOL"

"I want to be a pilot, but mostly so I'd have an excuse to tell passengers, ""Where we're going, we don't need roads."""

"OMFG there is a horse in the corridor! Then my wife must still be in the manege."

"I'm not a narcissist. Narcissists spend their time looking at themselves in the mirror. I don't need to do that to know I look fabulous."

"Send your hate mail to me. How many black guys does it take to screw a lightbulb? You cant count them when its dark"