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Joke of the Day

"I'm not a narcissist. Narcissists spend their time looking at themselves in the mirror. I don't need to do that to know I look fabulous."

"I met up with my internet friend yesterday. We were both disappointed when we realised we were both middle aged men, and not 10-year-old girls."

"Friend: What happened? 15yo me: *arm in a sling* Got hit by 2 buses. Friend: What happened? 37yo me: *in a full body cast* I sneezed weird."

"Why did the couch give the table a dollar? Because it was for chair-ity"

"I look like Danny DeVito's sloppy seconds."

"A man goes to a bar with his autistic girlfrien, what happens next is mindblowing... Really guys ? Again ? This is the 3rd clickbait joke today"

"I've been training my facial muscles to do the nose twitch from Bewitched, and just had a huge breakthrough with the right nostril. Big day."

"Attention, guys wearing ""skinny Jeans"", you took the phrase ""getting into her pants"" the wrong way"

"How do you know if someone has run a marathon? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"Is your business interested in reaching a larger and wider audience? Pm me for my ex wife's email address"