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Joke of the Day

"Am I the only one who just buys a new printer when the ink is gone? Also, does anyone want to make a sweet printer fort?"

"My wife caught me crossdressing. So I packed her things and left."

"What did the Physics professor say to the fat kid in school? ""You've got a lot of potential!"""

"When my wife left, I was sad and lonely So I got a dog, a new motorbike, shagged 2 women and blew a grand on drugs and alcohol. She's going to go fucking nuts when she gets back from work."

"A dyslexic walks in to a bra"

"Why Obama shouldn't take the penny out of circulation. He said he would bring change, not take it away."

"Why did Bach have to sell his organ? A: Because he was baroque."

"How many Einsteins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Relatively few"

"Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup? Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper."

"Thanks to advertisements I know I need to help the diseased, the pregnant and those dying of cancer... And then have a smoke."