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Joke of the Day

"What did the Physics professor say to the fat kid in school? ""You've got a lot of potential!"""

"Why can't Ms. Piggy count to 70?? Because when she gets to 69 she has a Frog in her throat."

"My dad is in the hospital, he needed to get some toes amputated because of his diabetes. He's been good about it. He says he's lactose intolerant."

"""I OBJECT!!!"" The defendant screams in court. The judge gives him a very emotional hug and says ""no... you human""."

"What is long, green, and has ""cum"" in it? A cucumber! Totally a cucumber..."

"Why was schrodinger's cat in trouble with the law? I don't know, but he was wanted dead and alive."

"If I had a dollar... If i had a dollar for every racist comment i've ever made, a black guy would probably mug me."

"Where does a Mexican go when they feel threatened? Hispanic Room"

"I didn't realise Trump had a communist streak, but... His call for people of the world to seize the means of reproduction was rather stirring!"

"Mike Tyson caught experimenting with Methamphetamines... He exclaims, ""I was just mething around!"""