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Joke of the Day

"FITNESS TIP: Stretching is important. Stretch out flat on your back. Stretch your eyelids over your eyes. Stretch a blanket over your body."

"What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream in the oven Sorry"

"What did one drug dealer tell another on the street corner after hearing of Amy Winehouse's death? Damn, I'm gonna go bankrupt."

"Pedophiles lobby for slower speed limits at school zones"

"If you fall I will be there - Floor"

"""Lord of the Rings"" seems like kind of a racist book. It doesn't even have a Tolkien black guy."

"[NSFW] Its a good thing your vagina has a sense of humor... ...otherwise it wouldn't be able to take this joke."

"Saudi Arabia... ...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council."

"What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup."

"What does a violin player use as birth control? Their personality"