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Joke of the Day

"I told my girlfriend I wanted to try the orca in bed tonoght. I wanted to see how long I can last Tilikum."

"It's so frustrating when your hitman doesn't answer the phone after you've made amends with someone"

"I have a tattoo of a tiger shirt underneath my tiger shirt so when I take off my tiger shirt BOOM tiger shirt"

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? You suck his dick."

"Why is Trump like a man with a tuber fetish? He wants to put the Dick back in Tater."

"Trust me, I'm a liar. Lawyer, I meant lawyer."

"Not now, inspirational quotes on my cough drop wrapper."

"An interesting fact about owls. Their heads can rotate up to 360 degrees before it comes off in your hand."

"It was time to show my girlfriend how i really feel.. so i showed her my hands.."

"What's the difference between dollars and Jews? I give a shit when I lose 6 million dollars."