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Joke of the Day

"No Calls ? I Understand . No Text ? I Understand , But When You See Me With Someone Else Please Understand ."

"If you were to look at my search history you might think I was a history buff... ... but in reality I just enjoy masturbating to pictures of Holocaust victims."

"What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian? A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs."

"I'm so fat... ...my favorite super hero is the supermarket."

"What do you get when you mix a hippo, an elephant and a rhino? Hell-if-I-know!"

"Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink? So women know where to stand in the kitchen."

"Why are there no coup d'etat in the United States? Because there is no U.S. embassy there."

"Men are like prisms All that matters is length, width, and height."

"Why Wasn't Jesus born in Italy? They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin."

"Why does Bernie Sanders support abortions? Because even after he's blown his load he won't pull out."