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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix a hippo, an elephant and a rhino? Hell-if-I-know!"

"Q: If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who would win? A: The one with sand in his shoe -- if it was quicksand."

"My girlfriend said she will leave me unless I stop pretending to be a dung beetle. I said, 'Go right ahead. I can live without sex but I do need to eat every day'."

"You're Like The End Of The Bread... Everybody touches you, but nobody wants you."

"Liverpool have went from SAS to LOLS From Suarez and Sturridge to Lallana Origi Lambert Sturridge"

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquitos stops sucking after you fucking slap it"

"Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle."

"Shit's Creek is actually quite lovely when you bring paddles."

"So a blind man walks by a fish market... And when he walks by the market he takes a deep breathe and says... hello ladies!"

"Why does Popeye have such huge forearms? Olive Oil is a virgin"