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Joke of the Day

"Executioner: Before we do this, what would you like for your last meal? ""I'll have a panda please"" [judge, under his breath] Can he do that?"

"The milk in my fridge is so old it thinks Elvis Presley's dancing is inappropriate."

"A friend of mine died from a sore throat... ... Th**e**y hung him!"

"I like my women like I like my _____ (Fill in the blank)."

"Hey baby, you got an inhaler? Because you got dat Ass-ma."

"Alabama: where the men are men and the sheep are scared"

"OMG! My boss has choked on his sandwich and stopped breathing!! Should I call an ambulance? Its been 16hrs.. I didn't wanna make a fuss."

"[WOLF CUB] Dad, why do we howl at the moon? [WOLF DAD] Well son, the moon is made of cheese and that's rad as hell"

"A good sign that you're not ready for children is if you cut your food with a credit card."

"What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip. No offense intended(to get the racial shit stated before I get hit with it)"