98865

Joke of the Day

"parents just reaming ms frizzle out at a pta meeting. ""you took our kids to god damn outer space. we didnt even have to sign a form"""

"Why cant a woman be the goalie for hockey? 3 periods 2 pads."

"A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, his quick reaction killed him."

"Hitler is walking in an extermination camp with the camp manager.. ""Why is there such a sweet smell in the air?"" Hitler asked. ""Today we're burning the diabetic"" answered the manager. Edit: Spelling."

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently she left me yesterday."

"Put the punchline in the title What's the best way to ruin a joke?"

"Bread is just bread until you drop it on the floor. Then it's toast."

"I think weed is messing with my memory. I can't remember shit anymore! I think it's because weed is messing with my memory."

"Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say ""Safe in your strong arms"" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years."

"Q: What's red and looks like a bucket? A: A red bucket."