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Joke of the Day

"A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, his quick reaction killed him."

"I used to be a banker...... but then I got fired."

"Pussy Me: Let me tell you a joke. Me: Pussy. You: ... Me: Do you get it? You: No.. Me: Exactly."

"When you're at someone's house? Normal people: ""What a lovely house!"" Me: ""What's your wifi password?"""

"*SNAP* *wife screams* *walks over to me* *cups my face with her hands* *looks me in the eye* ""why is there a mousetrap in the fridge?"""

"Why doesn't Donald trump travel in ships anymore..? Cause he doesn't like Cruz..."

"""Oh Shit, Was That Today?"" an autobiography"

"Say what you will about pedophiles At least they drive slowly past schools"

"A police officer pulled me over and said ""Sir, please identify yourself"" So I took out a mirror and replied ""yeah, it's me"""

"What kind of pickles does Miley Cyrus like in her relish? twerkins"