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Joke of the Day

"Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say ""Safe in your strong arms"" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years."

Next Joke
 
"If Jesus were alive today...what type of car would he drive? A chrysler (Christler)"
"4-year-old: ""Frozen"" is on TV! Me: We have it on DVD. And Blu-ray. And digital download. 4: Yeah, but this one is on right now."
"I can't wait to get home and rip my wife's knickers off... They're bloody killing me!"
"*comes into work with black eye* oh please I'm fine guys! But you shoulda seen the other guy. He was a cabinet door that i walked into"
"Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now."
"""I love my Job!"" -Job's wife"
"Wrestling is so stupid I can't believe people pay to watch people without pants risk their lives for a belt"
"You're too drunk, dear. Alcohol you later."
"[reading book report] ME: Beyowulf is the story of a guy that turns into an wolf when he hears Beyonce TEACHER: Wrong. ME: Well, I tried."