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Joke of the Day

"Why cant a woman be the goalie for hockey? 3 periods 2 pads."

"Driving with me is like being trapped in a tiny karaoke bar that doesn't serve booze and the worst singer won't get off the stage."

"Q: What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!"

"I've had second thoughts about masturbation... On one hand, it feels great. On the other hand, you don't feel a thing."

"Why are oceans so salty? Because the Earth is always tilted."

"Why did the climate scientist cross the road? To analyze the chicken s carbon footprint."

"Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation? Even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it."

"The Samsung Galaxy is a cool phone if you don't mind carrying around a 42"" screen."

"What's the similarity between a bad postman and an eviction notice There's nothing worse than the day they come in the mail"

"What do Australian chess players say when they're finished eating at a restaurant? Check mate."