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Joke of the Day

"My costume budget is pretty slim, so I'm going as 'disinterested millennial' for Halloween this year."

"During the bank robbery, I was the one who heroically soiled himself & cried in order to incapacitate the robbers with laughter"

"My sister wanted to marry a man clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb enough to spend it on her !"

"You didn't like it. I was gunna tell u a joke about my time machine"

"I have an anorexic girlfriend. She's great, but I'm starting to see less and less of her."

"Say something I'm giving up on.... Jews"

"I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it."

"What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient? There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!"

"10, 27, 28, 30, 32 walk into a bar... 10 says ""I'm drinking age, I swear!"" The bartender says ""Outlier!"""

"Why does Santa never visit Jewish families on Christmas? Jew's houses dont have chimneys, they already fell for going into a house with them once! [NSFW]"