98718

Joke of the Day

"Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me a minute to get hard - I just got laid by a chick."

"A Frenchman is buying a bread stick and the cashier asks.. ""are you okay carrying this loaf?"" to which he replies ""baguette""."

"I forgot :( Whilst climbing in the roof space to get down the kids Christmas gifts, I found a present I'd forgotten last year. Such a shame - they would have loved that puppy."

"A friend said he couldn't come to my party because he has diarrhea. I don't believe him, I think he's full of shit."

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay? Because if they did they would be Bagels"

"You guys ever hear the one about the man who ran naked through the church? They caught him by the organ."

"My face is so oily The US wants to invade it."

"Sir, the children at the petting zoo are unhappy. They think our animals are lame *stares off into distance* We're gonna need a bigger goat"

"Q: What did the alien say to the gardener? A: Take me to your weeder."