98715

Joke of the Day

"I can judge the goodness of my sex life by the loudness of the terrible music the neighbors are blasting"

"I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen"

"Pretty arrogant of Red Delicious Apples to put ""delicious"" in their name. Like calm down. You're still just an apple. You ain't no prize."

"I took a really sloppy poo today... My ass was wiped more times than Ian Watkins' search history"

"i dont care if people dislike me, but if a pet ignores me, i will hit them up nonstop & keep changing my look drastically until they love me"

"Why was the airport depressed? It had a terminal illness."

"What do clocks do when they're still hungry after a meal? They go back four seconds."

"Ebay is way to hard to use I searched for lighters, and all I got was 71,274 matches."

"Porn is the Kevin Bacon of the internet. No matter what site you go to, it's no more than 6 clicks away."

"COP: Know why I stopped you? ""Drag racing?"" COP: Nope. ""Speeding?"" COP: Definitely not. ""Cuz I'm on a unicycle?"" COP: That's the one."