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Joke of the Day

"Pretty arrogant of Red Delicious Apples to put ""delicious"" in their name. Like calm down. You're still just an apple. You ain't no prize."

"Why was the letter ""Z"" lucky it was not Jewish? Because all the other letters were NOT Zs!"

"What do feminists and zookeepers have in common? Nothing. Feminists have nothing in common with anyone."

"I don't think I'll beheading to the Middle East any time soon."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of."

"Grandma: You've left all your crusts Mary. When I was your age I ate every one. Mary: Do you still like crusts Grandma? Grandma: Yes I do. Mary: Well you can have mine."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""I'll serve you, but you better not start anything!"""

"Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs"

"My 3yo just told me that he loves to make babies and I don't know what it means but I'm terrified."