98623

Joke of the Day

"Just had a really enlightening yoga session! LOLJK! I'm drinking warm whiskey out of a water bottle designed for hamsters."

"Trump: Do you wanna build a snowman? Elsa: Who will pay for this snowman? Trump: Ok byeee "

"Casting agent: If we hire you at SNL what would you like to accomplish? Me: Staying up past 10:00."

"I want to break up. It isn't you. It's a me...mario!"

"How do Super Heroes like their drinks served? WITH JUST ICE!"

"My favorite workout is a mix between a lunge and a crunch, I call it lunch."

"*walks into a five guys* Did the five guys ever kiss"

"How long is a meter in Spain? A Spanard"

"What does a pedophile and a tortoise have in common? They both want to get there before the hare."

"I'm constantly amazed that only 26 letters in the alphabet can produce so much bullshit."