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Joke of the Day

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? ""Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"""

"My sister is a mathematician... She celebrates 4/20 on January fifth because it's just simpler that way."

"What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name."

"Fellas, when waiting in line for the new TSA scanners, give yourself some personal ""fluffing"" beforehand. Don't get caught with shrinkage."

"I bought my Dad a cheap dictionary for Christmas. He couldn't find the right words to thank me."

"I have a life besides Twitter. Like this one time that I take a walk into the woods but then realize there was no wifi & I began to panic."

"For sale: Golden Retriever, had for 9 months, has yet to retrieve gold. Should have bought a metal detector."

"[emergency room] ""We need to put pressure on the wound!"" [to wound] We've been together 6 months now, I think we should move in together"""

"The comeback, 'Get on my level' 'Get on my level' Reply: 'Okay dude, ill go downwards'"

"NASA just released a statement that on Dec.21 at 4:30PM, it will start to get dark in New York City. They're calling it ""sunset""."