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Joke of the Day

"Fellas, when waiting in line for the new TSA scanners, give yourself some personal ""fluffing"" beforehand. Don't get caught with shrinkage."

"What did the watermelon say to the honeydew when he proposed to her ""Well we cantaloupe. My mother will never forgive us"""

"In the recent news of Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds both passing away... ...Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones, has confirmed to still be alive."

"What chews on trees and sings? Justin Beaver"

"When a Vietnamese person has the same first and last name... It's a Nguyen Nguyen situation."

"Why don't Germans like humour? Because it's inefficient!"

"Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun. * scans the laundromat and guess whose they are."

"Can't wait til Feb. 15th...otherwise known as 1/2 price chocolate day."

"Save the cheerleader, save Reddit. "

"[speed dating] HER: So what do you- ME: How fast can you order a pizza? HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT"