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Joke of the Day

"I have a life besides Twitter. Like this one time that I take a walk into the woods but then realize there was no wifi & I began to panic."

"Sorry I said your cat was ugly. Oh, and sorry for thinking your baby was a cat."

"Want to hear a sex joke? On second thought, you wouldn't get it. It's an insider joke."

"When your pet is staring at you, it's probably thinking ""I wonder how long those things live."""

"What do you call a prostitute giving a blowjob under a bridge? Nothing. That's a low blow."

"What's the difference between a hook and a hooker? You can unscrew a hook, but you can't unscrew a hooker"

"I'm so lucky, I married my best friend!! I hope my husband doesn't find out"

"I like my women like I like my coffee with my dick in them."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...black and strong!"

"What did ron say when he got Hermione pregnant? Fetus deletus"