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Joke of the Day

"Wanna know why they burnt down the cvs pharmacy in Baltimore? They stopped selling newports..."

"Just once, I'd ike a cop to pull me over and tell me how great I'm driving, especially considering I've had 12 beers."

"Doctor Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear that's a lot of calories!"

"What did the Middle Eastern terrorist say when he was captured by the police? Oman!"

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""spider"" Can you use it in a sentence? ""A spider has eight eyes."" [kid smiles] Spider. S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R"

"What do a Russian pimp call his prostitute? Slobberonmadickyabitch"

"A blonde was asked why her list skipped every other number... She replied I can't even"

"Do robots have sisters ? No just transistors !"

"Daddy is the government going to keep us safe from terrorists? No son, they're busy protecting us from drugs and home made clocks."

"My Uncle said this now that there are two popes Two popes walk into a bar with Yankee caps on. The bartender says, ""Didn't you guys use to be Cardinals?"""