166433

Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""spider"" Can you use it in a sentence? ""A spider has eight eyes."" [kid smiles] Spider. S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R"

"Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they always steal all of the green cards."

"Wanna hear a joke? Feminism (I'm going to hell anyway, the least i can do is have fun on the way)"

"Why can't you trust snakes ? They speak with forked tongues !"

"Nothing more uncomfortable than a girl with a lazy eye looking up at you while giving you head."

"Million dollar idea: Invest $995,000 in a bank CD."

"*breathing becomes rapid and pulse starts racing* I...I've never felt...SO ALIVE! *holds up 11th nugget from 10 piece box, for all to see*"

"My neck, my back. My pizza and my snacks."

"What does a pizza boy and a gynecologist have in common? They both can smell it, but not eat it. Yes I know it's a repost. What did you expect, a new original joke every time? Now that's a joke."

"The guy who told me I sucked at tennis puns is failing as a comic. Serves him right."