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Joke of the Day

"Just once, I'd ike a cop to pull me over and tell me how great I'm driving, especially considering I've had 12 beers."

"Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most? Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!"

"People say I'm condescending... That means I talk down to people."

"If I show you a picture on my phone and you start scrolling, I'm gonna stab you."

"What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets? A Rug's Life."

"My girlfriend says she prefers a dildo over me. I never saw it coming"

"Honestly Officer, I do have a few ideas as to why I'd get pulled over, but I'm kind of afraid to tell you. Let's both say it on 1-2-3, ok?"

"What was the name of the knight who sat all the way around the Round Table? Sir Cumference."

"What do you get when you cross a Jehova's witness with a business man? A door to door salesman!"

"Two guys are busted stealing a calender The both got 6 months"