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Joke of the Day

"Some people like instant gratification but I prefer mine brewed slowly from freshly ground gratification beans"

"What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow? A hybrid"

"Most action figures are surprisingly inactive."

"[in car with wife] ""did you take $20 from my purse?"" *sips $3 coffee* no *gets rear ended and $17 worth of sour candy falls out of glovebox*"

"Doctor is rummaging through his bag looking for a pen... He pulls out a rectal thermometer instead, ""Ah goddammit some asshole has my pen!"""

"Paris Hilton says that bees frighten her. I bet the rest of the alphabet does too."

"Wanna Hear a Corny Joke? no??? Awww Shucks"

"Why did Bill Gates name his company ""MicroSoft"" It is believed ""MicroSoft"" is a brief description of his penis ;-)"

"What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town? Tombstone."

"Today I got a good deal from Comcast."