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Joke of the Day
"Most action figures are surprisingly inactive."
Next Joke
"What's another name for a clever duck ? A wise quacker !"
"I try to teach my mom something new everyday. Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes. Edit: Apparently a lot of you are all teaching my mother new things too. Weird."
"[girlfriend talking to me but I can't hear her over crunch of my cereal] ""I think we should see other people"" Yeah sure thing, babe"
"By the power vested in me by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one."
"This venomous snake is pretty scary. What can we do to make it even scarier? Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES"
"If you're an American in the living room what are you in the bathroom? European."
"Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? On the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."
"A man goes into a bakery and asks for 99 loaves of bread... ""Why not make it a 100 loaves?"" asks the baker, to which the man responds ""who the fuck eats that much bread?!""."
"If you're keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you're losing."