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Joke of the Day

"Today I got a good deal from Comcast."

"I just ran for the train so I think I'm good on running for a couple years."

"A guy walks into a bar with a gun he says ""Which one of you bastards fucked my wife?"" and a small voice from the back of the room says ""You haven't got enough bullets"""

"I'd enjoy your sports/movie/pop-star jokes a lot more if I didn't have to spend 10 minutes on Google figuring out if they're funny or not."

"I hate people who buy gym memberships just to walk on a treadmill. WALKING IS FREE."

"Schools are giving kids a bad influence nowadays..... When they go into the real world they'll be expecting free handouts."

"Why don't bars in London have Happy Hour? They're in Greenwich Mean Time."

"Wearing my bathing suit as underwear in case a random pool party breaks out sounds way better than too lazy to do laundry."

"What's the difference between Greece and a good software application? Greece doesn't have default settings!"

"As a younger man, I used to think women were only good for one thing... As I've gotten older I've realized......I'm better at doing that myself too."