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Joke of the Day

"""Did you know Yemen is the most mentioned country in everyday speech?"" Person 2: ""Really?"" Me: ""Yeah, man."""

"What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common? They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack"

"*tear runs down cheek ""Why are all these people dead on the inside?"" ""Sir, this is a morgue."""

"How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters? NME (enemy)."

"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that he's finished."

"My dad had a good idea. Sometimes when cars drive by your house they honk at you. But you can't respond. That's where House Horn comes in"

"So a midget psychic broke out of jail the other day... the headlines read ""small medium at large"""

"A paedophile says to a school boy ""I'll give you a lolly if you come into the van"" The boy replies ""Give me the whole bag and I'll cum into your mouth""."

"What would be the worst meal for a football wife? OJ and Rice"

"Did you her about the boy that was born without any eyelids? They used the foreskin from the circumcision to make them. I guess you could say he was a little cockeyed."