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Joke of the Day

"My mom took my phone when I wasn't paying attention She said ""honey have you been watching porn?"" ""N-no mom why would you say that?"" I asked petrified. ""Because your search history is blank""."

"What type of wind is named after a young deer? Foehn"

"The other day me and my transgender mate Dave saw a bundle of mosquitoes eating several trout..... Dave asked - ""How did they get them ?"" I said - "" fly fishing"" and yes he is transgender."

"Why did the python return his pants? They were too constricting."

"What did the fish say when it bumped its head? Dam."

"What does the comedian say to his children on his deathbed? ""No one will appreciate your jokes once you're *dad.*"""

"i hope people on September 2nd 1885 were flipping out on Back to the Future Part III day"

"What's the worst thing about being drunk? Ask a glass of water."

"I can't remember where I read this, but I heard too much masturbating causes memory loss."

"How do you frighten a Bee? Sneak up behind it and yell BOO BEE!"