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Joke of the Day

"A prickle of porcupines A murder of crows A flamboyance of flamingos A twitter of depressed, alcoholic perverts A shrewdness of apes A parla"

"Did you know we only use 10% of our brains? ""Actually that's a myth-"" This part is useless *stabs fork in head* See? Now florble arble guh"

"Do you think Earth makes fun of the other planets... ...because they have no life?"

"The more vital your research, the less people will understand it."

"What is a prime way of knowing when a retard is thirsty? He'll have water on the brain."

"What did the coma patient win? A-trophy."

"How do you confuse a complete idiot ? 32"

"What do you call a French cow that grows sprouts instead of fur? Chia LaBeouf"

"My mom was the best mom. I hope your mom spends today thinking about what she could've done to get on my mom's level."

"Reasons I Can Relate To Raccoons: 1) Dark circles around eyes. 2) Eats junk. 3) Small and chubby. 4) Stays up all night. 5) Cute but will fight you."