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Joke of the Day

"I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I'm an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It's because I'm poor."

"Do you? (X post from funny) There are 10 types of people on this planet, those who understand binary and those who don't. :)"

"My teen sent my call directly to voicemail on the phone she used to have."

"Who is a Brooklyn dog's favorite composer? Bach Bach Bach"

"What do you call a jerking off well-endowed midget? A huge short coming."

"Why did Daenerys cross the road? To be that much closer to crossing the ocean."

"Florida lawmaker Randall Thompson is forced to resign after it is revealed he spent taxpayer money on expensive footwear for his wife. I guess Randall mishandled his panhandle sandal scandal."

"*stands in front yard, hands on hips, giving each autumn leaf that falls on my lawn a stern, disapproving look*"

"I was at the Apple store The Employee recommended the iPhone 6S. I said ""That sounds S-septional!"" *Stupid grin*"

"Tired? Cranky ? Feeling like crap .....There's a nap for that ."