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Joke of the Day

"Florida lawmaker Randall Thompson is forced to resign after it is revealed he spent taxpayer money on expensive footwear for his wife. I guess Randall mishandled his panhandle sandal scandal."

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"There's three things you should know about me, I'm Canadian, I watch Hockey, and... I'm sorry."
"A new card game It's called the Star of David. You take out all the cards you don't like, put a star on them, and then you burn them."
"What did the reindeer wear to protect itself while Santa was watering the garden? Rudolph's red hose rain gear..."
"An Trainer talks to one of his Novice Doctor... 'I cannot wait to do this operation!' 'And why is that?' 'If I could not wait to do this operation,I would be no doctor... **'I WOULD BE PATIENT!'**"
"I just watched a movie where a serial killer murders people then cooks their dead bodies... It was a heartwarming story from start to finish"
"(God creating coyotes) God: Make them look like dogs. Angel: Exactly like dogs? God: But with a meth problem."
"Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song."
"My biggest fear is laughing at a joke I didn't understand and someone asks me to explain it to them."
"I saw The Joker working at a winter apparel store. He turned to me and said ""You wanna know how I got these scarves?"""