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Joke of the Day

"News said how hard it'd be to shoplift a turkey. Amateurs. It's all about commitment. *stuffs turkey under shirt* *whines that back hurts*"

"Yoda tells a joke at the annual Christmas party. Why was five afraid of seven? Because Six Seven Eight"

"[NSFW] Bill Cosby at a bar When you add rookies to a cosmopolitan it becomes a cosbypolitan"

"[my weiner falls off my body, into the toilet] ugh mercury must be in retrograde again"

"Feminist Picnic... No sandwiches were made."

"*angrily detangles self from wind chime*"

"whats a feminist least favorite football team? MANchester united"

"Two blondes talking to each other... One asks the other, ""Which one do you think is closer, Florida or the Moon?"" The other blonde says, ""Well duh! You can't see Florida from here."""

"I was in Feruson, got jumped by 5 black guys It started right up, they said I just need to replace the battery."

"I'm sorry we fought. I hate it when you're wrong."