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Joke of the Day

"It's pretty cool how Atheist prayers are just thoughts about actually doing something useful."

"I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday it was a risk I was willing to take"

"*puts bread in toaster* hmm something strange about the toaster today Duck(from in toaster): no there isnt"

"A lettuce, a tomato and a pumpkin had a race The pumpkin fell down squash. The tomato tried to ketchup, but the lettuce came out ahead"

"Q: What do you call a frog with no hind legs? A: Unhoppy!!"

"So a black guy and an asian guy walk into a classroom... The black guy gets a D- while the asian guy gets a B The asian guy gets beat up by the black guy lol"

"Did you hear about the Olympic sprinter who got busted for steroids? Now he's out of the running."

"Netflix is making a documentary on the upcoming presidential inauguration. They're calling it ""Orange is the New Black""."

"1. Hide babies all over house. 2. If a kid asks, ""Where do babies come from?"" laugh, ""Where DON'T they come from!"" and open every cabinet."

"Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young? That's how he became a dictator."