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Joke of the Day

"""I'm going to be a little bit late"" -people that are going to be very late"

"My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded."

"what do a toddler and a case of new pencils have in common? They are both pointless."

"Star Wars Force Awakens joke Im Seriously concerned about new star wars. If this continues, Well then im very interested, How will the Rey with her training, run with Old Skywalker on her back"

"Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up."

"Did you hear about the neckbeards that raped the killer clown? They did it, Reddit."

"One time I exaggerated so hard that I died."

"[in ambulance] ""Sir, do you know your blood type?"" ""Yeah [coughs & points to wound] red."""

"[Exorcism] Priest: What is your name? Demon: Jim Wife: Jim who owes us $100 or hot Jim? Demon: Nice legs Carol Wife: Let's keep him. Next..."

"oh hey mom. no i'm just Skyping with my girlfriend. what do you mean am i just playing a Vine of a girl saying i love you over and over"