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Joke of the Day

"Two Men Walk Into a Bar the third one ducks"

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"I walked up to MC Hammer to tell him a joke.. Stop me if you heard this one"
"A homeless man told me to get home safely I smiled and said, ""You too!"""
"My friend fell into the gelatto machine. Ice creamed in terror."
"I was so sorry to hear you buried your mother last week. Well we had to you know she was dead."
"Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It didn't want to get stuck in any cracks."
"I don't chase guys unless I have my inhaler with me."
"What do you call a dog that is also a magician? A Labracadabrador."
"Before you criticize someone.. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."
"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture."