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Joke of the Day

"My dad was an illiterate pirate Tragically, he was lost at C."

"It's funny because it's true So a catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer. the end"

"I hate gingerbread. If I owned a bakery, I wouldn't tolerate gingerbread. I'd be like, ""Get outta here, you redhead. Your money isn't good here."""

"Work tip: if you're going to ask your boss if you can ""work from home"", don't use air quotes."

"My Wife was dead and rotting for a week... ..and i thought she was just having her periods."

"date: where did u get that, i don't see that on the menu me: (biting into my corn on the cob) i bring my own corn on the cob"

"My cow Rosie won 3 blue ribbons at last year's 4H show so I have pretty high hopes for her at this year's chili cook off."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? They both drip when they're fucked."

"So in The Matrix they feed you the liquified remains of the dead through a tube but you get to sleep and be online all day? I'm listening."

"The only camper that is a Happy Camper is the one who drank enough alcohol to forget that he's CAMPING."