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Joke of the Day

"Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks."

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"What do you call a counterfeit receipt for a memory consultant? A Freudilent slip."
"A rabbi, a Priest, and a duck walk into a bar... and the bartender says ""What is this, a fucking joke?"""
"Michelle Obama & Melania Trump meeting: *shaking hands* Michelle: Hi, I'm Michelle. Melania: Hi, I'm Michelle."
"[Jumps into taxi] ""FOLLOW..."" [taxi driver turns around excitedly] ""...ME ON TWITTER"" [Jumps out & moonwalks into Olive garden]"
"Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work."
"My grandad always used to say to me that the best part of fighting is the make-up sex. Which would probably explain his short lived career as a boxer."
"Parents, what's the right age to explain to a Fox News anchor that Santa isn't real?"
"How do you get three gay men off your couch Jerk one off, the other two will come"
"The Australian border patrol is so good... they even stop the good internet from reaching Australia."