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Joke of the Day

"My kids challenged me to a cartwheel contest. Long story short, now my chiropractor has a new boat."

"I like my women like I like my chocolate. With nuts."

"At the men's bathroom of the local college... ... above the toilet paper dispenser was a piece of graffiti: ""Liberal Arts Degrees. Take One."""

"Pepsi backwards... Is pep"

"I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now."

"US voters have definitively proven You can go black and then go back"

"Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you're wrong & Raphael isn't the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it."

"What did the flight attendant say to the vulture who dragged two dead raccoons onto the flight? I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion"

"They say shoe size correlates with penis size... ...which makes getting raped by a clown that much more terrifying."

"Boss: You're late! On Friday, I made it clear that anyone arriving late would be fired Me: Well I didn't know! I ducked out early on Friday"