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Joke of the Day

"My kids challenged me to a cartwheel contest. Long story short, now my chiropractor has a new boat."

"Funny One Liner! If you don't have friends, just tell a woman that you love her and she says that we're just friends."

"Hamburger My Chinese girlfriend came up with this, please don't groan. Where do you go to get a burger on the internet? McDownloads!"

"""I feel your pane""- Guy walking into your window."

"I rode the bus today..... and saw a girl on the bus wearing a Kappa Alpha Gamma sorority shirt. I went up to her and asked ""Why are you on this bus? Aren't you supposed to be driving around in a car?"""

"[at seance] Me: If you truly are a ghost why don't you move this object Ghost: If you truly are a human why don't you get your shit together"

"I judge parties by how close to dead my cell phone battery is when I leave."

"Old Jewish Proverb: It's better to have Russians cut-off the gas than ... ... have Germans pump it."

"I'm not saying my ex wasn't pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture."

"Q: What kind of fence goes on strike? A: A picket fence."