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Joke of the Day

"Funny One Liner! If you don't have friends, just tell a woman that you love her and she says that we're just friends."

"I went on a blind date once... ...her name was ....:::..... ::...:..:...:"

"Shocked to see Gravity win a special effects award. Thought it was actually filmed in space"

"[date started at 9 pm] [9:30 pm] Her: I love long awkward silences. [10:20 pm] Me: Me too."

"Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and ""we'll see what happens"" is considered inappropriate."

"I don't like how when women get married they get to keep their first name."

"Wanna know my secret to rock hard abs? I ride the mechanical duck outside the grocery store 300 times a day."

"What do Indian flowers grow? Patels (this may or may not have been inspired by a dumb facebook post I saw)"

"a seal walks into a club eh"

"Why were Popeye's forearms so big? Because Olive Oyl was saving herself for marriage."