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Joke of the Day

"How many of you guys experienced this? Damn! I don't have spare keys either."

"Biochemists at Chipotle have discovered a way to defeat ISIS militants without any civilian casualties Free Burrito Bowls."

"[Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved"

"""Choas Theory""-themed restaurant: Eating Disorder"

"got kicked out of cub scouts as a kid... for eating a brownie..."

"How are spinach and anal sex alike? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult"

"What's the similarity between a mobile phone and a clitoris? Both turn on with the touch of a finger and every cunt's got one."

"Jumping on a trampoline naked is an awesome way to see the past, present and future of your body."

"this joke has no title What did this joke's mother say to it? ""You're not going anywhere!"" geddit?"

"When is Independence Day 2 coming out? 9/11"