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Joke of the Day

"What's the similarity between a mobile phone and a clitoris? Both turn on with the touch of a finger and every cunt's got one."

"[Judas standing alone waiting to be picked for dodgeball] -Come on it was one time guys *Jesus drags the CPR dummy to his side of the gym*"

"What's the most capable element? Tin, because tin can."

"How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer? Ask them to pronounce the word, ""unionized""."

"So this girl asked me what I look for in women I told her, ""3 holes and a heart beat"""

"Clark Kent: *sits glasses on counter* Lois Lane: Who are you and where did the new countertop come from?"

"ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon"

"You never really forget how to misquote sayings. It's like buying a bicycle"

"Confucius say when mosquito land on testicle, you learn to solve problem without violence"

"Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07"