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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking of giving away my broken marionette. No strings attached"

"A gas station had 2 signs in the window, help wanted and self-service. I walked in and hired myself. credit: Steven Wright"

"Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus? Because he'd urn-ed it."

"Crocodiles can grow up to 20 feet but most have just four."

"Hello 911? Yeah, my wife accidentally fell off a cruise ship 3 months ago"

"My friend told me I didnthave the confidence to farm rocks. You should have seen the look on his face when I grew boulder."

"What made the cable guy late? There was a cord-eal"

"What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest? A dookie"

"What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"Why does the North Korean military always lose their battles? [xpost /r/meanjokes] Every single shot at them is at a chink in their armor."