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Joke of the Day

"Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus? Because he'd urn-ed it."

"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall into the cup of hot chocolate."

"What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists? No strings attached"

"How do you turn a robot on? You push his power button."

"Pretty sure California's water crisis could have been solved with the number of dropped ice cubes that I've lazily kicked under the fridge."

"A hard thing about a business is minding your own."

"The current state of the Canadian economy. This is /r/jokes right?"

"The longest minute in the world is the one between finishing SkyMall and waiting for them to allow electronics."

"Can we talk about your pleated, cuffed corduroys, or are we just going to let it happen?"

"What does a bucket of KFC and a whore have in common? After you're done with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in."