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Joke of the Day
"[sees a baby spit up after drinking from baby bottle] ""lmao yo who invited the lightweight"""
Next Joke
"What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it? Forget-me-knots!"
"Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other."
"I just found out JFK was jewish. He was shot in the temple."
"""Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops"". Congratulations British women! You can now move diagonally!"
"I met a plastic surgeon at a bar last night... He specialized in male-to-female sexual reassignment surgeries. He was a pretty nice guy, but a total *womanizer*."
"Which online dating site connects me with single-malt liquor in my area?"
"Friend: ""Hey you're blocking the view!"" Me: ""Bitch, I am the view."""
"The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed."
"I'm not sexist.... because being sexist is wrong, and being wrong is for women."