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Joke of the Day

"The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed."

"*wife stares at me* *I stare at her* *she frowns* *I smile* ""You didn't notice my new-"" ""NICE HAIRCUT AND GLASSES."" ""Dress."""

"What kind of medicine do bears take? Bayer Asprin"

"People keep comparing Trump to Hitler, but that is just not true. I mean, Hitler could paint."

"If you see a distressed woman in the mall screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one."

"Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than- -crashed submarines in the sky."

"My friend asked me how I got so good at guitar. I told him I'm use to fingering minors."

"A Redditor goes on a date."

"When did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Tennish."

"fill in the blank 1.) ""There once was a man from nan-tuck it, His balls were as big as a bucket"" 2.) ""What is the difference between a whore and a boxer"""