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Joke of the Day
"I once swallowed two strings and they came out tied together. Yeah, I shit you knot!"
Next Joke
"Tough Monday, guys. Had to fire Guadalupe for putting two left-footed socks together. Heavy heart because she basically raised me."
"How do you starve a black guy? Put his food stamps in his work boots"
"Liz from HR just called me in. I guess my thigh gap is distracting everyone, like that's my fault"
"Jake Roper from Vsauce 3 is cancer. too soon?"
"My ex just sent me a photo of her having sex with her new boyfriend. I sent it to her Dad"
"I'm going to read braille to the deaf... For the ASL competition."
"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *thwack* fuck... A skydiver goes FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- *THWACK*"
"What is brown all around and looks good on a motorcyclist? A coffin."
"Mahogany was competing with oak and maple in the wood election. Nobody got a majority in the electric collage. However, oak narrowly beat out maple in the poplar vote."