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Joke of the Day

"I once swallowed two strings and they came out tied together. Yeah, I shit you knot!"

"My friend thinks he's smart He said that onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face."

"How do sheep divide candy? They all get their fair shear"

"Saying ""Only in New York"" is just a way for you to cope with watching a bum pee on another bum that is shitting in the subway."

"If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with"

"What do you call a python with a great bedside manner? A snake charmer."

"You say pigs can't fly... but swine flu!"

"Why do Mexicans make burritos? So they can unwrap something for Christmas!"

"The classiest knock knock joke in existence [Fixed] Two guys walk into a bar"

"Man gets his wife roses for Valentine's Day Wife says ""I guess I have to open my legs now"". Man says ""Why? Don't we have a vase""?"