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Joke of the Day

"If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with"

"5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife. Both times she said no."

"Ricky sent SMS to his BOSS: ""Me sick, no work"" Boss SMS back: ""When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"" 2 hours later Ricky sms 2 boss: ""Me ok, ur wife very sweet"""

"What's Hitler's favourite sausage? Frankfuhrers."

"Ok doc, give it to me straight. ""It's cancer"" How bad? ""Really bad, you have 2 months."" OMG ""APRIL FOOLS!"" Whew- ""You have 2 days."""

"Did you hear about the witch who ate 10 packs of gum? She had some double bubble toilet trouble."

"Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion? Because he was a slave to the cistern!"

"What do you call a fox with one leg? Terry :D"

"When I make you breakfast in bed, the least you can say is thank you. I mean what's with all this ""how did you get in my house"" nonsense?"

"What do you get when you run over a goose? Goose bumps."